A Jamaican herbal brew holds promise for the good Professor’s errant entrepreneur friend.
Last week, I was somewhat startled by Prinz Charlz, our local herbal entrepreneur, knocking at my window. I invited him in for a cup of tea as his economic activities always make for fascinating listening. As he sat down, I noticed the tag on his ankle. He explained that he was on probation and had sold the idea of his new business venture, ‘community herbalism’, as his route to going straight to his new ‘woke’ probation officer, Niamh.
He had noticed the craze for fermenting and, using his contacts in Jamaica, imported traditional fermented products from the Caribbean, which became very popular. The top sellers aimed to address erectile dysfunction, a traditional focus of many of these products.
This business model faced a setback when our local farmers’ market-imposed tariffs on stalls selling products that were not strictly local.
However, this business model faced a setback when our local farmers’ market-imposed tariffs on stalls selling products that were not strictly local. This was Charlz’s main route to market, so he had to swiftly develop his domestic production capacity. This is where Thomas, my helpful husband, came to his aid and lent him his shed, which quickly filled with jars of fermenting vegetables and spices, putting his business back on track. Replicating the Jamaican products was luckily not too difficult, thanks to recipes on the interweb found by his AI assistant.
The following Saturday, I decided to visit our farmers’ market to see his new business for myself. I arrived to find a wall of noise created by a group of leathery old rockers, claiming to be a tribute band to the Rolling Stones. The eponymous band would probably not have counted their performance as a tribute. They were stumbling around the stage, producing jarring noise, and most of the lyrics were unintelligible.
One band member, for no discernible reason, began a chant of “death, death, death to IVF.”
I arrived at Charlz’s stall to find him looking quite worried. He told me that this group had bought a substantial selection of his products, and it seemed they were the worse for wear as a result. He claimed this was not the effect his products were meant to create.
At that moment, one band member, for no discernible reason, began a chant of ‘death, death, death to IVF’ which went on interminably until someone thankfully pulled the plug on the band to everyone’s relief. His probation officer, Niamh O’Sullivan, felt she had to report the band to a local council office present on the basis that it was offensive to the many women likely to be present seeking fertility treatment.
Now, Charlz’s herbal remedies are under investigation by trading standards, and Niahm is considering recommending that he be sent back to prison. Luckily Niahm’s partner had tried many of Charlz’s products without ill effect, so Charlz is hoping that he can weather this storm and reformulate his products to avoid any recurrence of this type of fiasco. Sensing a growing market, he is exploring ‘fermentation for fertility’ as a potential diversification. This only demonstrates that the road to business success is never easy, and I do so admire our entrepreneurial heroes.
