Cumberland, chipolata and other meaty challenges in the care sector. Professor Verity Bastion mulls.
In the past month, I have gained some insight into our “care” system from my friend, Valerie. Maybe someone should let Andy Burnham know the problems go well beyond deciding how the funding works.
Valerie joined our community some months ago at the great age of 92 but still with the dynamism of a 70-year old. We immediately found a connection due to having academic careers in common. Hers was astrophysics rather than economics – she made breakthroughs in the study of Uranus at Jodrell Bank – however we did have common experiences of nightmare university bureaucracies, male egos and the academic grants rat race. For academics, once you climb up the greasy career pole, actual research and knowledge creation soon becomes a “side hustle”, as the youth say.
A few weeks ago, Valerie returned from surgery on her legs at our local hospital. It was not major, but she ended up stuck in there for weeks “bed blocking” as she waited for a care package to be sorted. She had made the best of it, managing to get her good friend, Professor Brian Cox, to call bingo at a big event to raise funds for the crumbling Bevin Block. His adoring and captive audience even managed to persuade him to sing two choruses of “Things can only get better”.
Valerie’s care package was to help her put compression tights on in the morning and take them off in the evening. This might not sound like a big deal, but as she described it, it was like putting a Cumberland sausage into a casing made for a chipolata. My husband, Thomas, gave a fruity laugh – he has always been quite vulgar.
Carers arrived randomly in terms of time and skillset.
The Bright Futures Care agency (a name which made me wonder if they believed in the afterlife) organised the carers to carry out these operations. However, organised hardly described the chaos Valerie experienced. Carers arrived randomly in terms of time and skillset. Many turned up with no knowledge of what she required and limited spoken English. Valerie became quite adept at using Google translate once she had ascertained the language required.
The carers had a maximum of fifteen minutes to get her tights on or off, generally less as our residence’s landlords, McCarty and Bone, wouldn’t give them access to our car park so they had to walk some distance and often received parking tickets. Few managed the task of attending to my friend’s needs. One was so upset at her failure that she lit a cigarette and sat weeping in a corner. One fell backwards into her dresser with the momentum of pulling them off, requiring emergency medical attention herself.
One carer was marvellous. Zainab had an expert understanding of both the force and gentleness required. It turned out that she was also fascinated by astrophysics having studied physics in Afghanistan and helped to form the Afghanistan Astronomy Association at Kabul University. Unfortunately as a woman, she had been expelled before she could complete her course. She was particularly taken by the signed photograph of Alan Turing by Valerie’s bed, one of the many amazing people Valerie had known. She said she and her girlfriend were Turing fan girls.
Valerie so looks forward to the next episode in her amazing scary journey as well as getting her tights put on with dexterity and ease.
Almira had incredible tales of how she managed to escape and the years-long journey via Pakistan to the UK after the Taliban took back control in 2021. Unfortunately, she only came, at most, twice a week, but Valerie so looks forward to the next episode in her amazing scary journey as well as getting her tights put on with dexterity and ease.
Just last week, Professor Brian Cox contacted Valerie to say that he had been so moved by the state of the Bevin Block and the spirit of the patients he met, that he had managed to persuade his pals, the Pet Shop boys, to play a charity gig to raise more money. Valerie told him about Zainab’s desire to complete her degree and the professor thought he might be able to help. Maybe he could help Andy Burnham and things could get better but that may be beyond even the powers of the great Professor Brian Cox. We can but dream.
